"The new year stands before us, like
a chapter in a book, waiting to be written. We can help write that story by
setting goals. Dig within, and discover what you would like to have happen in
your life this year. This helps you do your part. It is an affirmation that
you're interested in fully living life in the year to come.” ~Melody Beattie
So, I don’t usually make New Year’s
Resolutions—or at least not since I was a kid—so this should be an interesting
experiment. Because these thoughts will be written down and posted online, I
will be able to revisit them throughout the year as needed. No excuses, right?
OK, well here goes.
This year, I intend to take inspiration
from others to improve my life, myself, and the way that I impact others.
“If you asked me for my New Year
Resolution, it would be to find out who I am.” ~Cyril Cusack
I’d like to believe that I know who
I am, and in many ways, I do. But, I learned last year that there are parts of
myself that I have not always acknowledged and dealt with well. This year, I
will be more open to examining these shadow aspects of myself. I will
appreciate them for the gifts that they bring to me, and I will challenge them
when they interfere with my progress.
“Take a leap of faith and begin this
wondrous new year by believing. Believe in yourself. And believe that there is
a loving Source - a Sower of Dreams - just waiting to be asked to help you make
your dreams come true.” ~Sarah Ban Breathnach
Doubt has kept me from achieving my
goals and dreams in the past. I didn’t stop dreaming, but for too long I could
only wish for my dreams to come true. Now, I realize that dreams can be
achieved if I work hard enough and believe in myself enough to make them
happen. This year, I will believe in myself first. I will remember my dreams,
and I will believe that I can realize my dreams.
“Ring out the false, ring in the
true.” ~Alfred Lord Tennyson
My gift to myself for my 30th
birthday was my first planned tattoo. (The first was quite unplanned.) It was
the year 2000 and Japanese kanji was still popular in tattoos—as were lower
back tattoos, later to be known as “tramp stamps.” So, I designed a tattoo that
would go on my lower back. It was a starburst design with a kanji in the
center. I had designed it with the symbol for love in the center. I had just
gone through a divorce, and I was more sure than ever that love existed, especially
love for yourself. Fast forward to a tattoo studio in East Ridge, TN, where I
am presenting a tattoo artist with my design and just before he creates the
stencil, I decide to switch out the kanji symbol for love for the symbol for
truth.
“Love will come and go, but truth is
the one constant,” I said with the kind of arrogance that every 30-year old
has. I was sure that I had all the answers, of course. Ha!
So, while my tattoo is no longer in
fashion, its message still holds valuable meaning for me. Truth is important to
me and always has been. It was truth that led me to leave my first marriage
after only months. I could no longer be untrue to who I was, and I believed
that love should always be based in truth. I knew then that I deserved to be
loved by someone for who I really was rather than on some version of myself
that someone else wanted me to be.
This year, I will continue to strive
to be truthful always. I will look for the truth in all matters, and I will be
true to myself above all else.
“I hope that in this year to come,
you make mistakes. Because if you are making mistakes, then you are making new
things, trying new things, learning, living, pushing yourself, changing
yourself, changing your world. You're doing things you've never done before,
and more importantly, you're doing something.” ~Neil Gaiman
I have a strong tendency towards
perfectionism and a huge fear of failure. I’m sure that both have kept me from
trying a lot of things. They’ve also probably limited me from expressing my
full potential for creativity and imagination. I know that it would be
ridiculous for me to resolve to eliminate my perfectionistic thinking. It will
always be a part of me, and I appreciate that it pushes me to do my best. What
I will do instead is to strive to see my mistakes as opportunities. I will
think less about the outcome or the evaluation, and I will focus more on the
experience of learning, feeling, and enjoying the moments. I will open myself
up to my own imagination and creativity without concern for the finished
product.
“My New Year's resolution is to
stick to a good workout plan that will keep me healthy and happy.” ~James Lafferty
I grew up as a skinny kid, but I’ve
struggled with my weight for almost 15 years since it was discovered that I had
a tiny tumor on my pituitary gland that really screws with my hormones. I’ve
been up and down, but mostly up, and I’m currently heavier than I’ve ever been.
I refuse to set a weight loss goal, because those don’t tend to work for me—or
rather, I’m not good at those. Instead, I resolve to make regular exercise a
part of my routine once again. I know that I feel better when I exercise and
eat well. I want to be healthier. I want to be able to walk and climb and dance
without losing my breath. I want to feel better inside my own skin.
“We humans have lost the wisdom of
genuinely resting and relaxing. We worry too much. We don't allow our bodies to
heal, and we don't allow our minds and hearts to heal.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh
I used to struggle with falling
asleep. I would lie in bed, my mind racing, worrying about what I needed to do
the next day, obsessing over things I could not control, and stressing out over
anything and everything. I was a textbook insomniac. I struggled with waking in
the morning, and I would sometimes stay in bed for hours.
I don’t have these problems with
sleeping on a regular basis anymore. Maybe it’s age. Maybe it’s necessity. In
any case, I sleep ok, but I don’t experience true restful relaxation each
night. I still worry too much. I still don’t always dream. I still don’t often
reach that state of healing peace and tranquility. I still don’t wake refreshed
each morning. This year, I’m going to work on this. What an amazing goal!
“Celebrate what you want to see more
of.” ~Tom Peters
I should know well enough from
training dogs that in order to eliminate the negative, you must accentuate the
positive. I’ve got an advanced degree in complaining. This year, it’s time for
me to work on improving my skills in the areas of complimenting, appreciating,
praising, and celebrating.
“Look at situations from all angles,
and you will become more open.” ~Dalai Lama
I often have a hard time connecting with others who seem so very different from
me. I know that I could learn to appreciate them more if I could somehow understand
their motives, what makes them tick, and what they care most about. I know
this. But doing these this is hard—really hard sometimes. This year, I’m going
to try harder to understand the perspectives of others. I’m going to try harder
to open my eyes, my ears, and my heart.
“Accept what people offer. Drink
their milkshakes. Take their love.” ~Wally Lamb
I say “no” a lot. I turn down
invitations, gifts, gestures, and relationships. Maybe my life would be
improved if I said “yes” more. Maybe it wouldn’t. This year, I hope to find out.
“Always do what you are afraid to
do.” ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
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| My third skydive (2008) & the first one I truly enjoyed. |
I’m afraid of heights. That’s why I
jumped out of an airplane in 2005, and that’s why I’ve done it four more times
since. I’m still scared of heights, but I can always say that I’ve faced my
fears. Even if I couldn’t conquer my fears, I have faced them. How many people
can say that?
The good news is that I have many,
many more fears, so I have lots of opportunities in this new year to keep
facing them. When given a choice, I will choose to take risks. I will do what I
fear.
“Your success and happiness lies in
you. Resolve to keep happy, and your joy and you shall form an invincible host
against difficulties.” ~Helen Keller
I’ve learned through my education
and my practicum that one of the best ways to treat depression is to increase a
person’s pleasant events. Don’t wait for your mood to change to take action;
take action and your mood will change. This doesn’t mean that it’s easy to just
“choose” to be happy, but it does mean that it’s often possible to choose a
better mood. This year, I will choose happiness more often.
“Write it on your heart that every
day is the best day in the year.” ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
We often live our lives waiting for
“someday.” Someday, I’ll be thinner. Someday, I’ll be older. Someday, I’ll be
happy. Every single day can be someday—or at least a bit of it. This year, I’d
like to be more present, more awareness, in every moment. I will make the most
of each day, not in a stressed out, frenetic way, but with the appreciation
that it will only come once and that once it passes, I will never again
experience it.
“Calm mind brings inner strength and self-confidence, so
that's very important for good health.” ~Dalai Lama
Meditation has brought me inner calm and sense of balance. It grounds me and empowers me. It allows me to simultaneously feel fully whole within myself and connected to all of the universe. This year, I resolve to meditate more often. I will do my best to create a daily practice by which I connect, center, and focus.
“Let our New Year's resolution be
this: we will be there for one another as fellow members of humanity, in the
finest sense of the word.” ~Goran Persson
In my fantasy world, I’d be the
hermit—alone in my cave, high in the clouds, away from the troublesome world
below. Alas, I live amongst the mortals, and thus, I must learn to deal with
them. Actually, if this past year has taught me anything, it’s that I can’t do
this alone. I depended so much on my fellow students and my professors during
my practicum semester. I may have literally gone nuts without them. And, my
happiest moments have come when I’m with those whom I consider family or
friends. Whether I’d like to admit it or not, I need people, and I do my best
to be a friend to those who need one. This year, I will spend more time with
friends. I will call those who are far away. I will help more often. I will
volunteer more. I will donate what I can.
“To have the kind of year you want
to have, something has to happen that you can't explain why it happened.
Something has to happen that you can't coach.” ~Bobby Bowden
And, in the end, no matter how much
we plan, no matter how many goals we set, the magic of life is that we are
never truly in control. This year, I will make more space for that magic by
relinquishing more control. I will leave room for miracles. I will allow time for wonder.
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| The sunrise outside my front door on the morning of January 1, 2015. |
